Proper 16 Year A 8/27/2023
Exodus 1:8-2:10; Psalm 124; Romans 12:1-8; Matthew 16:13-20
Rev. Mark A. Lafler
Probably the most difficult thing that you will face in life will revolve around your relationships with other people.
Whether they are family…
Extended family…
Church family…
Co-workers…
Just people we meet from day to day…
Relating with other people is hard work.
And how we relate to people can make or break you.
The Carnegie Technological Institute has stated that 90% of all people who fail in their life’s vocation fail because they cannot get along with people.[1]
That’s quite something.
You can have the most gifted person in a certain job…
Only fail because they were unable to handle the relationships with people around them.
Relationships.
They are not easy.
Obviously, the Bible is full of relationships.
From the very beginning you have a relationship between God and his created beings – humans.
Well, humanity disregarded their relationship with God by rebelling against him…
Which we call sin.
And then the story of bad, difficult, abusive, estranged relationships begins.
Adam and Eve and their two sons start the story off so well, right?
Cain kills Abel…
The first family.
And from there the struggle in relationships go…
And on and on it goes.
The Bible is a book from cover to cover about people not getting along.
Our world really isn’t that much different.
Outside of what we call natural disasters, most problems in our world are due to people not getting along with other people.
(War, poverty, racism, violence, abuse, etc.)
It was back in April or May that our Lord impressed upon me to take some time during the year as a church to focus on relationships.
And not just relationships in general…
but specifically, conflict and forgiveness.
Not because of anything in particular that is going on at the church…
But I do believe that relationship building is always needed.
And just because we might generally do alright here as a church…
doesn’t mean that we can’t do better.
So, I decided to do this relationship emphasis sometime after the summer.
My summer reading was focused on a few books related to relationships, conflict, and forgiveness.
A book entitled A Church Called TOV by Scott McKnight focuses on what it means to be a church where goodness prevails.
TOV being the Hebrew word for good or goodness.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of churches in North America that can have a toxic culture…
But God calls his church to be a place where his goodness dwells.
I then read a book entitled The Peace Maker by Ken Sande.
The focus of this book is on resolving personal conflict.
A colleague of mine recommended it saying that it was the best book they knew on the subject of conflict.
I do commend the book to you. It is very practical and biblical.
We will have a few copies available to purchase in our closet in the Hall.
I am now reading a book by Timothy Keller titled: Forgive.
This book focuses on the theological and societal need to have a forgiveness culture as opposed to a cancel culture.
As I was looking for the time to have this Relationship emphasis,
I discovered our Lectionary on Sundays beginning today takes us through four weeks of some of the most powerful parts of scripture on these topics of conflict, offense, and forgiveness.
Today and next week we are in Romans 12.
The two weeks after we will be in Matthew 18.
When I saw this…
It was so obvious that God wanted this time…
Beginning today to focus on relationships.
So, for the next month,
Beginning with Dinner and More on the first Tuesday in September,
Our Adult Bible Conversation (ABC) beginning on the first Thursday in September…
And the sermons over the next few Sundays will focus on how to have the Gospel of Jesus Christ shape our relationships.
We’ve all have them… difficult relationships…
And chances are we will get more.
So, let’s pray and discern and listen to what God is saying to each of us and the relationships that we have.
Now, in Romans 12 we heard this pungent verse:
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think,
but to think with sober judgment,
each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.
This is such a good verse to chew on.
In this world where there is so much emphasis on individualism…
And on the self…
This verse is a good push back to the overemphasis on the societal importance of the individual and the self.
Our world says:
be true to yourself…
Look to your inner self for your own truth…
And so forth…
But here the scripture teaches us to not think of ourselves higher than we should…
But with sober judgment.
The Greek word here being translated as sober (sophroneo) emphasizes:
To be in one’s senses.
To be orderly and restrained.
I think sober is a pretty good translation of the word.
We should be restrained and rational about the way we think of ourselves.
I like the way Eugene Peterson writes this verse in The Message paraphrase:
The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.
You see instead of looking to our own individuality…
Discovering our own self-worth…
Discovering our own identity…
Our self-worth and identity are found in Christ Jesus and the good news of His Gospel…
Where we are saved by the grace of God…
Through faith…
Which is a gift from God…
We are not saved by work or effort. (Ephesians 2.8-9)
We are forgiven, found, redeemed, made righteous, justified, healed, strengthened, and reconciled in Jesus Christ because of the power of his work on the cross and his victorious resurrection.
And we rest in the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross.
And that is the good news that we need to hear and hear again.
Because when we think more highly of ourselves than we ought to…
We often will discover that the root of many of our conflicts in relationships begin with our false understanding of who we are…
Perhaps we even have an inflated ego.
Instead of looking to God for our self-worth and identity…
We find that our work, our ministry, our status, our financial ability,
our ability to demand a presence, our reputations,
any of these become the focus of how we value ourselves.
And the reason that St. Paul writes this is due to the verses that come next.
The context.
He says:
…we are like the various parts of a human body.
Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole,
not the other way around.
The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people.
Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body.
But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we?
So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body,
let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be,
without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other,
or trying to be something we aren’t.
(The Message)
And he goes then to describe different gifts that we may have such as giver, teacher, encourager, and so forth.
The point is this:
We can get so worked up about what other people do…
About what they say…
Because we hold too high a view about ourselves, our way of life,
or our ministry and work.
A former priest of mine use to say:
We take God seriously, but not ourselves.
Remember…
It’s really not about us…
it’s not about you…
It’s not about me…
It’s about Jesus Christ.
Our lives are about our Lord and Savior…
We are called to magnify him…
And love people by pointing the way to Jesus.
So, as we start these next few weeks…
Working on our relationships…
Thinking about steps we need to take in order to truly forgive…
Considering the ways in which we handle conflict…
May we remember to humble ourselves…
By the power of the Holy Spirit.
Not thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought to.
But may we with sober judgment…
Lift others up…
Build each other up…
And encourage each other…
As we walk with God together through Jesus Christ.
Amen.
[1] Lloyd Perry, Getting the Church on Target, Moody, 1977.